The Trauma That Is Working Parent Childcare

The other day I saw a man trudging along pushing a pram, suited and booted... and exhausted.

And it really brought back memories of what life was like as a working parent managing childcare.

I remember that trudge.

The pain and the tears.

Times when I had to wake my son up at 6.55am to be out the door at 7.00am, bundling him up into his car seat and heading off - his dummy still firmly in his mouth.

Times when he would wrap his arms around my neck and scream, having to be peeled off me into the childminders arms.

When he would fall asleep immediately on the car journey home and so I would carry him indoors and sit, in my work clothes, for hours letting him sleep.

When I knew I had a late meeting and so my husband had to pick him up at 7.30pm on a dark winter night and push his buggy, in the rain, for a 30min walk to the train station, train journey, then another 10min wet walk home.

When I remember these times, overall, I feel guilt.

Guilt that I did that.

But I had little choice.

And it is a position that, literally, thousands of other women have been through, and who are currently living.

When we had our second child, due to the huge costs of childcare and wrap around care at school, coupled with that guilt, we took the financial hit and my husband become a Stay At Home Dad.

And things were different.

I could get up and leave in the morning, I wasn't clock watching, no longer working out the latest time I could possibly leave.

But some days, I still didn't see them much.

And it started to wear me down.

Was the trauma of childcare arrangements a contributing factor to leaving my previous career and starting my current adventure?

Well, how could it not be.

To underestimate the impact of children and childcare on a woman's career choices would, I think, be naive.

If you are reading this and any aspects resonate. Know that you are not alone. You are not doing it "wrong".

If you are working with a parent of young children; please be mindful that the picture they are presenting might not be a true reflection of what they are feeling and experiencing.

We each do the best we can at that moment.

And your best is always good enough.